Advice to my Daughter- Things to Remember When Life Gets Rough


Dear daughter, life is amazing. But sometimes, it is hard to acknowledge, especially when we go through terrible situations and hard times. But we can make it through these situations and come out even stronger than ever and better equipped for the storms that will inevitably come your way in the future. We all get through them as the time passes. However, some get through them better than others. So, what is their secret? Most of it has to do with attitude. Here are 10 things I would like you to remember when life gets though:

1 – It is only a problem if you think it is a problem

Many times, daughter, we are our own worst enemy. Happiness is really dependent on our perspectives. If you think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it is something you can learn from, then suddenly, it is not a problem anymore.

2 – If you want things to change, you need to start with changing yourself

Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. You might know people whose lives are chaotic and stressful. It is largely because they feel chaotic inside. We like to think that changing our circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards – we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will change.

3 – There is no such thing as failure – only learning opportunities

All great people who have ever achieved anything have “failed” over and over. In fact, I think it was Thomas Edison who said something like, “I did not fail at inventing the light bulb, I just first found 99 ways that it didn’t work.” Take your so-called failures and learn something from them. Learn how to do it better next time.

4 – If you do not get something you want, it just means something better is coming

That is hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it is true. Usually, when you look back at your life, you will be able to see why it was actually a good thing that something didn’t work out. Maybe the job you did not get would have made you spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to.

5 – Appreciate the present moment. This moment will never come again.

And there is always something precious about every moment, daughter. Do not let it pass you by. Soon it will just be a memory. Even moments that do not seem enjoyable can be looked upon as something that you might miss someday.

6 – Understand and be grateful for your fears

Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fears can also make you feel victorious. For example, I used to fear public speaking (one of the top 3 fears of all humans). So I find it humorous now that not only do I speak in front of a group every day by being a teacher, but also teach public speaking. Overcoming fears just takes practice, daughter. Fear is really just an illusion. It is optional.

7 – Allow yourself to experience joy

Sometimes in life, we forget how to be happy. We actually get so addicted to our problems and the chaos in them so much that we wouldn’t even know who we are without the problems. Try to allow yourself to be happy. Even if it is just for a small moment, it is important to focus on joy, not your hardships.

8 – You are not a victim. You need to get out of your own way

You are only a victim of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one does something to you. You are the creator of your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can get out of your hard times. You just need to start with changing your thoughts and actions.

9 – Things can- and do- change

“And this too shall pass” is one of my favourite sayings, daughter. When we are stuck in a bad situation, we think that there is no way out. We think nothing will ever change. But guess what? It will. Nothing is permanent except death. So get out of the habit of thinking that things will always be this way. They won’t. But you do need to take some sort of action for things to change. It will not magically happen all on its own.

10 – Anything is possible

Miracles happen every day. Really, they do. I wish I had enough space to write about all the miraculous things that have happened to people I know – from healing stage 4 cancer naturally to having their soul mate appear out of nowhere. Trust me, it happens all the time. You just need to believe it does. Once you do, you have won the battle.

Yes, daughter, life can get really tough time to time. But always remember that you are tougher. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find in your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t change. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. And even if you fall short, keep going, daughter. Keep growing.