Pros and Cons of Constant Messaging


Modern-day romance, many a time, owes its initiation to technology. The instant connections make neo-love affairs fast paced by erasing the longing. Of course, the old-school romance has its own charm, but the new age lovers have an added advantage of saving time, taking a leap and moving ahead. With a constant connection over cell phones, it is easier to get to know a person faster, check the background, rectify doubts, and thus make informed decisions.

But just as technology has its advantage, it has its set of negatives too. The overexposure to one another at an early point in a relationship can cause boredom and stem an unnecessary need to be connected all the time. The latter is the bigger problem in the given equation. It creates an expectation to be answered to and to be kept informed all the time. The intentions to know are often seen as dormant insecurity in a relationship.

The Good Thing about Texting

For many people these days, texting is a major source of relationship communication. It is really common and people age 17 to 25 tend to text their romantic interests more than older individuals do. For Millennials like us, who comprise the now- and next-generation of men and women navigating the dating game, texting is a socially acceptable way to flirt, check-in, ask questions, gossip, make plans, or otherwise connect with potential or current romantic partners.

  • Texting removes some of the barriers that can make face-to-face conversations, or even phone calls, tricky to navigate.
  • Texting does not require spontaneous wit; texters have some time to think and carefully craft clever messages.
  • Text messages are void of nonverbal signals, allowing texters to communicate the message they wish to send without concern that unintended nonverbal signals (sweaty hands, shaky voice, etc.) are polluting their message.
  • Texting is easy; in-person conversations can be complex.

Texting not only helps the nervous and socially-awkward, it can benefit the status-uncertain. Testing the waters (Does she like me? Is he interested?) is easier in an electronic medium; the casual approach helps shield individuals from rejection. It can be a safe way to figure out if someone is interested.

The Bad Things about Texting

Texting is used early and often in dating relationships, and while it might be easier, it does have downsides:

  • Because the communication is not face-to-face, it adds a psychological distance that allows for words to be said that might be hard to say in person. Maybe this is why texting is often used by people in newer relationships to broach difficult topics, to intentionally hurt a partner, or to apologize (Coyne et al., 2011).
  • Constant texting makes the partner in the relationship feel a lack of privacy.
  • Texting is time consuming.
  • Texting takes attention away from matters at hand. Such as, preventing people from other activities- like attending to other relationships; meeting academic or career responsibilities, or even seeing each other in person- the outcome is dissatisfaction. (Hall & Baym, 2012))And if said matters are driving, working or other important matters, texting becomes dangerous.
  • Texting and mobile connectedness can sometimes erode fundamental courtesies as people just whip out their phones in the middle of the conversation with another person. It is a rude behavior.
  • Continual texting will eventually sabotage a person’s performance and work record.

A relationship is built with trust and mutual respect. The basis of supporting one another, being truthful and honest helps the relationship and those involved, grow without losing their originality. To put it simply, constant texting is an act of the needy, desperate for some kind of assurance. Just as texting must have given your commitment a dreamy start, but it can also prove to be relationship’s tragic fatal end. How you steer the wheel of this romantic union is a choice only in your hands. A few messages of love exchanged through the day are absolutely normal. But save those sweet nothings for the quality time at the end of the day spent with each other.