How to be Happy – Advice to My Daughter


Daughter, to be happy in life, there are certain thoughts and mental habits we should give up to that hold us down. Without realizing it, many of us get in the way of our happiness and cause ourselves to get stuck into negative patterns of thinking. Here, I am going to tell you some ways to rewire your thoughts and minds that will allow you to feel the happiness that you deserve.

1 – Give up your need to always be right

Many of us go as far as falling out with dear friends and loved ones solely for the sake of being right. But daughter, always remember that letting go of this habit will lead to better relationships. A sense of serenity in knowing that even though you may have been right, you have saved yourself and those around you a great deal of stress, worry and tension in not having to be right or have the last word. Always ask yourself, “Would I rather be right or would I rather be kind?”

2 – Give up complaining

Throughout the day we could potentially find countless things to complain about, the weather, the traffic, and the service we got at a restaurant. But how does this constant whining make things any better for us? Does it make us happier? No, right? Our mood is in our hands. We can choose to react to any situation however we want. We can allow ourselves to be sucked into a negative state of mind or we can rise above that and be happy despite it all.

3 – Give up your need for control

Situations, events, people; as much as we may try, much of what happens around us cannot be controlled by us and so we must spare ourselves the hassle of trying to think that it can. Just try to be proactive and let everyone and everything around you just be. You will feel much more relaxed and happier.

4 – Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Most of the hurdles we face in life are actually ones that we have concocted up in our minds. They are imaginary, unreal and they are what prevent us from moving forward, not our actual circumstances. These imaginary hurdles warp our ideas about what we can and cannot do, what is and what is not possible. We need to learn to see through these hurdles. Then we will be ready to spread our wings and fly.

5 – Give up living life to other people’s expectations

Too much of our lives is spent trying to fit into social archetypes. We allow the expectations of others determine the job we do, the car we drive, the clothes we wear and much more. How much happier would we be if instead we followed our hearts and did things the way we wanted to do them. We are all talented individuals, we all have something to offer, something unique. We just need to nurture our talents and contribute through doing what we do best, doing what we love, rather than doing what we think is expected of us.

6 – Give up the luxury of criticism

Refrain from criticizing anything and everything that you do not understand. We are all different and that is what makes life beautiful. What a boring place this would be if we were all the same. Allow people and things to be different; do not see difference as an excuse to criticize. We all want to be happy, let’s ourselves to be happy and lets allow others to be happy.

7 – Give up your need to impress others

There are so many more important things in life than worrying what someone thinks of our shoes, what you do for a living or the car you drive. These things are not that are going to nurture healthy relationships. What people want from you is to be real, to be yourself. When you drop all pretences you will realize that people appreciate you for what you are and you will find your relationships are now stronger and deeper.

8 – Give up your resistance to change

Every life process entails change. As human beings we often enjoy familiarity and once we become comfortable we become resistant to change. But very little lasts forever, daughter. So always be ready to embrace it whenever it comes knocking at your door, we welcome it in and see it as opportunity for something new and better.

9 – Give up on your fears

What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail? Our fears are unfortunately hindrances that we create for ourselves. Imagine all those hindrances had vanished, how would you feel? Close your eyes and imagine that for just a moment. Feel good, daughter? Now try living that way.

10 – Give up the past

Keep things in perspective, never dwell on the past or be anxious about the future. Today is all you have. Tomorrow has not been promised to you and yesterday had passed you by. So, be present in all that you do. Remember, happiness is not something you can postpone for the future.

Follow these advices, daughter. Not only will you feel better but those around you will too. After all, only a lit candle can light other candles.