There are many things your children learn from your marriage. Many of them are things that you have most likely never thought about. Children are always watching, listening and learning from our examples. Because of this, it is good to evaluate what you need to tweak in the example you are setting. Now, let’s see, 7 of the top things your children learn from your marriage.
1 – What Relationships Look like
Your children will take the general picture of your overall marriage. That mental snapshot will colour their views on relationships throughout their lives. This is inspiration for us, parents, to make sure we are giving our marriages our best effort. It will not only affect our marriage, but our children’s future relationships as well.
2 – Division of Chores
The way that you divide chores between yourself and your husband is something your children are watching and learning from. If Dad is wonderful to pitch in and help, your children will believe that is a normal happening. If Mom carries the full load, they will expect that when they have their own marriage. This can be motivation to make sure that you work out a fair division of chores. A fair division of chores carries the message of teamwork.
3 – Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflict is something that every married couple will have. It is an unavoidable part of marriage. It is not having conflict that is the issue; conflict is to be expected when two different individuals bring their unique perspectives to the table. What really matters is how you deal with conflict. Having healthy conflict resolution skills will teach your child how to resolve conflict in the right way with others.
4 – United or Divided
Children are wonderful at determining if Mom and Dad are a united front or not. It is best for your marriage and your family if you are united. If the children sniff out any hint of division, you can bet they will pounce on that. Children actually feel more secure when they know that their parents are united. A good rule to follow here is to always talk to the other parent before making decisions concerning your child.
5 – A Sense of Humour
Children will learn about having a sense of humour from watching you in your marriage and in your general approach to life. Rarely does anyone have a life that goes exactly according to plan. Most of us experience some unexpected events from time to time. Handling those detours with a sense of humour is good for you and your frame of mind. It is also a good example for your child.
6 – The Importance of Affection
Children will observe if you are affectionate with one another in your marriage or if you aren’t. If a child grows up with parents who have loving affection toward one another, that will be normal to them. If their parents never express affection, that will be normal to them, too. Those factors play a big part in their future relationships. Another point in favour of being affectionate is that it gives children the security that their parents love each other.
7 – How to Treat One Another
Your children will learn a lot about how to treat people they are in a relationship with from watching your marriage. A young boy may learn to be a protective husband from watching his dad. A young girl may observe her mother being a supportive wife and follow in her footsteps. This is a good reminder to treat one another with love and respect. It is not just you that you are affecting; your children will be affected as well.
Kids are always watching their parent’s marriage and yet too many marriages underestimate the power of modelling! Children are taking daily recordings of what a marriage looks like and those recordings are definitely influencing and shaping their view of marriage.What are your thoughts? Were there things you learned in your parents’ marriage that coloured your views on marriage? Share your comments here.