What makes love last a lifetime? Affection? Yep. Respect? Sure. But a great marriage is not just about what you have. It’s about what you do to make a relationship stronger, safer, and more caring and committed. It is completely normal to drive each other crazy now and then. But to make your relationship stay strong, avoid accumulating or snowballing resentments.
1 – During a recurring argument
Instead of throwing your hands up and storming out on your partner, walk towards him and give him a hug. Yes, it will take some major willpower, but you’d be surprised how much this simple move can soften the mood.
2 – In an emergency,
Say his mother just had a heart attack. Instead of asking, “Do you need anything?” or “What can I do?” use your best judgement and take action. Book the bus tickets or plane tickets, pack for him. People can have a hard time giving directions under duress, and vague offers may not be helpful. Be assertive.
3 – After he is late, again…
Tell him that you feel disrespected and that punctuality is important to you. Don’t go tit for tat though. Rather, warn him and then cancel plans when he doesn’t arrive on time- or just leave on your own (e.g., when he fails to meet you for a movie date, leave for the theater without him). Show him he will miss out if he doesn’t get on with the program.
4 – When his annoying habit makes you cringe,
The next time your partner brings out his same old jokes, bypass the condescending smile or eye rolling. If his humor is stale, get in there and find a way to make it funny. Or be the one person in the group who laughs. Don’t get caught up trying to fix every little thing about him. You two are a team- so get on the team.